"I will give you THREE LifeSavers if you don't tell anyone what happened!!"

First of all, I've added recent pictures to my Picasa account. They include pictures from the farm visit, and a picture of the Superman Jesus! If you click on the link above - La Vida Ecuatoriana - it will bring you to the albums.

Since returning from Easter Break, I've found that my schedule is more exhausting than ever. I am away from my house for around 12 hours per day, and by the time I get home, I watch America's Next Top Model, Skype with whomever may be available (NEVER TRAVIS, AHEM), and am usually falling asleep by 9:30. I like being busier though - time is flying by, and I can't believe that we're already in May! I'm teaching the final unit to the kids, and after that they have a week review of the entire year, trimester exams, and then the kids that pass are let out of school (I think it's on June 11), while the failed kids have two weeks of a summer school type program where they are given ONE MORE CHANCE to pass the school year. Talking to my boss, everyone always passes, because no one likes being left behind - no wonder some of the English levels in my classroom are so low!

Last Tuesday, the kids had a unit test. On Monday, thinking that I'm being nice and giving all of the kids the opportunity to get a 100%, I gave the kids a review guide, and we discussed ALL of the answers. The review guide was indeed the same exact thing as the test, although I did change around the order of questions. This still doesn't seem to matter. The lowest grade I gave was a 62%, and this just BAFFLES me. HOW is this POSSIBLE? 24 hours ago, I gave you ALL the right answers, and you're still getting nearly half of them WRONG. I didn't say this to the kids, but OH how I wanted too.

When the kids are "sick" on the day of a test, I make them take it the first day that they are well again, but they have to move a desk into the hallway so that I can resume class without disturbing them. David (the kid who got his face stuck in his braces a while back) had to take the test on Wednesday.

To give you a visual, all of the classrooms have double doors, that in total width are slightly larger than a normal doorway. One of the doors always stays closed, so there's only a narrow opening to get in and out of the classroom. So David, instead of moving his desk in the normal spot in the hallway - away from the doors and against a wall - decides to put his back up against the closed door and face out. Fine. I make him move forward a little bit so that I can get the other door closed, albeit with some force. All in all, it's a tight fit for him to be there, but it's pointless arguing with the kid.

After I close both of the doors, I notice David peaking through the cracks of the doors. I go over, open a door, and say "DAVID! TAKE YOUR TEST!!" And he responds "OK Teacher!!!!!" I close the door again. 20 seconds later, David opens it, to peak have of his face through the door. "DAVID! JUST TAKE YOUR TEST!!!!!!!" His response? "OK TEACHER!!!!" With that huge goofy smile on his face. I lock the door, so he can't open it anymore.

In the next 10 minutes, David keeps peaking through the crack, but I say nothing. Sometimes he BANGS on the door because he has a question, so I pop my head out and help him. About 4 minutes went by with no movement from David, so I decided to go check on him to make sure that he didn't have any questions.

As I was walking toward the door, I was telling something to another student, so I wasn't looking at the door as I was opening it. Apparently, David saw me coming, and, without me noticing, started peaking through the crack of the doors. Key words - WITHOUT ME NOTICING. As I continue talking to Sergio, I open the door, somewhat forcefully because I have to shove it past David's desk, and BOOM. Oh shit.

"TEACHERRRRRRR HOW COULD YOU DOOOOOOOO THAT TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!?!" Since I didn't notice David's head in front of the door, when I opened it, it SMACKED him in the middle of the forehead. I wish I was talking about a little love tap. This poor kids eyes were watering, his forehead was getting red, and he looked like he was in pain. I was HORRIFIED. I'm going to lose my job. I'm going to lose my house. I'm going to have to fly back to the United States.

The 6 or so kids who sit near the door saw this happen, and they BUSTED out laughing, as in tears were in THEIR eyes as well. I shut the door and talked to David in the hallway, after feeling his forehead and making sure there was not a horrible goose egg forming. "David. I will give you THREE LifeSavers if you don't tell ANYONE what just happened." Now first, I would like to thank God for having it be David that I smacked with a door. He LOVES candy, so he eagerly nodded his head and said "OK Teacher! I won't say ANYTHING!!" I stopped sweating, and wanted to hug him. I told him to finish taking his test, offered him Excedrin (which is illegal, but dang, I would have had a headache too), and went back into the classroom. As a side note, I was telling my friend Jess about this incident, and she said, "Sara, that is totally worth TWENTY LifeSavers." This I am completely aware of. David, however, is not.

Once I went back into the classroom, I completely lost it. I started laughing SO hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks and my stomach hurt. The kids who saw it were still laughing too, and the others were just bewildered.

When David finished his test, he moved his desk back into the classroom - he sits in the front row - and sat down. Throughout the entire class, he kept looking at me and giving me that goofy smile, and holding up three fingers, in case I forgot my promise to give him three LifeSavers. No, David, I didn't forget - TRUST ME.

I didn't bring my LifeSavers to school until Friday, and at that point I decided to be nice and let everyone in David's class have one. I just walk around with a Ziplock bag full of LifeSavers, and everyone takes one. David took three, and of course the tattle-tale kids that I have yell, "DAVID TOOK THREE! TEACHER! DID YOU SEE?!?! DAVID HAS THREEEEEEEEEEEEE." You know, LifeSavers aren't even that good, and here they are putting up a huge fuss about it. I told them, "I know." And moved on.

I am so happy to say that David kept the secret, and I still have a job.

Until next time,
Sara the teacher who bribes children with candy. Hey - it works.