"Teacher Sara, your face is all red!!"

Teaching English is hard. I am NOT qualified for my job. Every night before I teach, I Google what it is that I should be teaching, because I have to learn it for myself. Great. When the students ask me questions, and I don't know that answer, they get mad, and I tell them "ALRIGHT. PLEASE remember that I went to college for AGRICULTURE, NOT English!" This does not sit well with them. It leads to more questions that I want to answer. I'm learning to deal with it.

Something that I do NOT know how to deal with though, is controlling my blushing. Oh, how I wish I would never blush! And of course the students are mean and always tell me "Teacher Sara! Your face is all red!" Thanks, guys. My latest red-face experience was a real doozy.

Let me give you a little background. First of all, the greeting/departure gesture in Ecuador is not a handshake or a wave. That would make like too easy. It's a kiss on the cheek. Fine. I'm getting used to it, but it still makes me kind of uncomfortable. So, my first few days of school, everyone was kissing me on the cheek - everyone as in the other teachers. Fine. There is a teacher named George (despite his purely American name, he is 100% Ecuadorian) who is a few years older than me, and he teaches science to the 8th graders that I teach English to. George is no exception to the kiss-on-the-cheek gesture. I HAVE noticed however, that I'm the only one that gets the kiss on the cheek. How do I make this stop? Is it because I'm so young? So white? So blonde? Lord only knows.

One day last week, someone asked me to find the classroom that George was teaching in and give him a message. I found him, and he had my class 9B - they're ROWDY. He stepped out into the hallway to talk to me for a sec, and upon my departure, he kissed my cheek. As I'm walking away, I hear all of the students do their "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". My first thought is oh GOD no. This is going to be bad.

Needless to say, I forgot about the incident. Until yesterday. The students are always writing all over their desks (the desks are pale blue and METAL, which is horrible, and the kids write on them with everything - marker, pencil, pen, white-out, you name it), and there is this ONE desk in the corner that is just graffiti-ed like mad. Most of it is so-and-so + so-and-so = Love. 8th grade stuff. So yesterday, a few of my favorite 9B's come into the classroom and we're chatting, you know, building rapport, and one student, a SUPER shy girl named Ximena (hi [like "him"]-may-nuh) goes "TEACHER SARA! YOUR name is on this desk!" WHAT!?!?! I go over to the desk, and look down in HORROR. Someone wrote "George M. (the science teacher) + Sara" in a heart. I was MORTIFIED.

"WHO WROTE THIS!?!?!?!?!?!!" I yell at these innocent girls whom I KNOW didn't write it. They respond "We don't know! We don't know!!" Sweet little Maria Paula, who always compliments my hair, tells me, "Teacher Sara, everyone thinks that you and Teacher George are.... I don't know how to say in English! You know... together?" I had to sit down. I've been working at this school for a WEEK and already rumors are flying about me! I continue to interrogate Maria Paula. "WHY do people think this? Is it just 9B?!?" I think the poor girl thought that I was going to throw the desk on top of her. And she's little - it would do serious damage and I would be fired for sure, which at THIS point I was ready to QUIT, so it wouldn't have been so bad.

Maria Paula and Ximena continued telling me that (1) "You and Teacher George are always together." This is not true. I actually barely ever see the man. (2) "It's not just 9B! It's our whole GRADE!" MY GOD. HOW do I get myself into these situations??? I didn't even DO anything. I'm almost in tears at this point. (3) "When we asked Teacher George about you his face got all red! Just like yours!!" Ah, here it is. The students must have given George a hard time about kissing me on the cheek. And his face got red. Let me tell you, I was SWEATING when they approached ME about it.

By now, everyone else had come into the classroom and are saying "OOOOOOOO Teacher Sara and Teacher George!!!" And the girls are telling me how wonderful they think Teacher George is and that WHEN (not IF) we get married "I want to be your flower girl!" "Can I be your maid of honor?" "I can play the how do you say? RECORDER! I will play the recorder at your wedding!" NO. Teacher George and Teacher Sara are NOT getting married. There is NOTHING going on with Teacher George and Teacher Sara. Please leave me alone. Yes, I know my face is red. NO I do NOT want you to talk to Teacher George about me. If one more person talks about Teacher George, your name is going to go on the board. I'm not kidding.

Oh, the life of an Ecuadorian teacher. But really, ONE week after I started teaching? This is torture. And I don't know how to resolve the situation. It's not like I can AVOID George - GEEZE, we teach the same kids! All I can do is hope that it is NEVER brought up again - and somehow dispose of this horrible desk.

Until next time,
Scandalous Sara